I am a big believer that you don’t need to be the best, you just have to get better. Better at what? Well, whatever you feel needs improving in your life.
A lot of people get put off self improvement because they are constantly comparing themselves to the people at the top of their field, TV personalities, Instagram “influencers”, their neighbours big house, friends with the cool car and the list goes on.
Most of us at some point have been caught in this “comparison trap”. I’m sure at some point you or someone you know has said, “I’m not going to be as good as them, and I’m not gonna have what they’ve got”.
Well, I’ve got news for you, you don’t need to be, you don’t need to be the best, you just need to be better than you were yesterday.
You just need to make a decision that you’re going to improve in an area or areas of your life that you need to develop. This could be your career, personal relationships, fitness, finances, hobbies and the list goes on.
To achieve that development you need to give yourself permission to make as many mistakes as you need to. This is all part of the process of working through the challenge and becoming better. Failing and learning leads to progress and eventually success.
At the end of the day, you either get bitter or you get better, because all of us are carrying with us some form of trauma or negative experiences that have happened in life. The sum total of which can shape the way you see the world.
This can create a conflict within, draining energy that could be used focusing on the solution and becoming better. We all know someone who bounces backward and forwards between trying to improve/change and sabotaging their own progress. I’m sure if we are honest we’ve all been that person at one time or another.
This is pretty common for the general population when entering a new environment of self improvement in areas that they’re not familiar with, e.g. health, wellness, and fitness. They’ll ping pong and yo-yo, going backwards and forwards, up and down between progress and regression. So, what can we do to become better in these areas?
We just need to move forward
It sounds really simple, right? Well there’s a bit more depth to it.
It all starts with being happy with marginal gains. Now what if you were to step out of some sort of problem that you perceive yourself to be in just now and look at it from the outside with objectivity.
If you have a problem or challenges, eg. your health/wellness, simply review the things that you did previously that worked and those that didn’t.
Success leaves clues, but also, so does failure. Make peace with the fact that you’ve fucked up in the past. Lose the weak negative attitude. Take a more empowered angle. Develop a better, more motivated attitude. That’s how you get out of the challenge that you are in.
Say to yourself: “Okay, how can I be better today? What can I do today?
What’s one thing that I can do today to improve this situation?”
If it’s an obvious situation like your health and wellness that you are
worried about, then you need to look at the fundamentals. I’ve covered
this already in Health and Self Care – The Process, so I’ll keep these points brief here.
Drink plenty of water. We should aim for between 2 and 3 litres a day. Water helps optimise your performance in the same way oil optimises a car engine. It keeps you hydrated, lubricated and performing efficiency.
Eat nutritious foods most of the time. It doesn’t need to be a mad diet, following some crazy calorie restriction, or take some hocus pocus magic potion like skinny coffee. You just need to look at what you’re putting on your plate and swap some of heavily processed junk foods for good wholesome, nutritious food.
Get moving. Start small, do some moderate activity every single week to start with. Take the stairs instead of the lift. Get off at an earlier stop on your way to work and walk a bit further. Try going to the gym. If you’re unsure how to train, hire a coach. Can’t afford a coach? Then go for a walk, it’s free. If you have any green near by then that’s a bonus.
Learn how to breathe, properly. Learn how to breathe through your belly button. this is called Diaphragmatic breathing. This technique allows your body to recharge, rejuvenate, and will also be involved in the distruption of cortisol (stress hormone) which gets produced when people are highly stressed. Here’s a video if you’re unsure how:
Adopt a compassionate, caring and non-judgmental conversation between your ears. I find that mirror work and affirmations are a great tool here. The car metaphor is something that we all understand. Keeping it fueled up and well maintained will allow it to fulfill its purpose and drive properly. I go in to affirmations in more detail in, Mirror Mirror on the Wall…
Obviously there’s more components that go in to fitness and wellness, but if you get the fundamentals sorted first, it will give you the platform to develop and grow from.
So how do you get started being the best you? Start by thinking of 3 areas where you’re experiencing problems and challenges? It could be finances,
relationships and fitness, for example. Score yourself honestly from 1 to 10,
with 1 being terrible and 10 being exceptional. I call this the optimal rate of
If you’re happy in your relationship, and you score a 7 and above then
great. If you are happy in your career and your finances, and you score a 7 and above then awesome. If you think about your health and wellness and it’s a 2 or a 3, then what you have is a really good scope to be able to improve your score over a 6 to 12 months period.
Always allow yourself the time to get better, and go through a process of growth and develop. Worthwhile change never happens overnight and it isn’t a straight line of progression. There will be challenges and setbacks come up that will need to be navigated.
After a period of time, reflect back, score yourself again and see where you’ve made progress, review and repeat the process until you’ve achieved your goals.
I hope you’ll give it a go. I’d love to hear how you get on.
If you’ve experienced an epic transformation through this or a similar
process, leave a comment. If you need a bit more guidance, then get in
“Strength for Life”
Davie McConnachie is Scotland’s leading health and wellness coach, multi-award-winning gym owner, motivational speaker and the founder of DMC Fitness, a fitness education facility known as the premier choice for 1-2-1 personal training. He has inspired thousands of people to fall in love with fitness – his true mission in life.
In his own fitness journey, Davie has athletically competed in Mixed Martial Arts fighting for Scottish and British titles, boxed for Scotland’s top amateur boxing team and competed internationally in Girevoy (kettlebell) Sport.
Diving into the world of sports and wellness has helped Davie to deal with his own inner demons. He. overcame many dark times using his own unique method to complete his cycle of H.E.A.L.I.N.G.